Sunday, September 18, 2011

My Broken Fantasy

I walk alone I walk alone It's snowing outside i'm lost in the middle of a snowstorm. I walk from building to building. Everything is closed. I walk alone i walk alone. I try to get myself together and ask myself where could everybody be? All the lights are on in the city, but there is nobody anywhere in sight. I walk inside a hotel to get warm. Going through the big spinning doors. I walk alone I walk alone. I walk inside and get a cup of hot chocolate. I grab a cookie to go with my coco. Where could everybody be? I was the only one in the hotel lobby. I walk alone I walk alone. I start making my way back to my apartment. Still nobody on the streets. getting back I nestle myself by the fire. I fall asleep. 

11 comments:

  1. This is the best one I've ever read, better than greenday.
    My favorite line is the line where you get a cup of hot chocolate, but that's not all (as if I wasn't depressed enough already) and he takes a cookie to.
    Your isolation doesn't effect you in the slightest, every one is dead and you get in bed with you hot chocolate. (I noticed you "nestle" punn)
    200 points for this one

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  2. WOW! That was really great! You definitely know what you are doing when it comes to writing. I could picture the entire thing in my head. Very well written :)

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  3. Who does this Ron Jeremy guy think he is? but i like it

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  4. Hmmm. I like the concept a lot. Getting hot chocolate from the hotel.

    Isn't that kinda like stealing?

    But I guess nobody is there so its okay. Great Job though! Could really visualize it in my head.

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  5. this is awesome! although im not sure i get the hot chocolate and cookie thing.... also sleeping by a fire! its an interesting take on it. not at all expected.

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  6. i'm with ron on this one. you are the next big thing. i vote blackvelvet top 5 everyweek

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  7. Good idea. I particularly like how you walk into the hotel and then you get what you need then you leave when you feel no one is in your presence.

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  8. I love how you notice the fact that you're alone but you don't let it affect you. It's very well written. You're good. Real good.

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  9. That nestle line was wicked average.

    I don't get this one. I'm glad all your homeboys think your writing is good. I just think it's okay.

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  10. was the cocoa from starbucks is the question. maybe be more specific for your readers

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